Iezawani Is Commenting About Her Life

Am pretty much depressed since last 2weeks. Y? is it bcoz of still not having very slender legs after did too much work out n food controled?? Or is it bcoz of long distance relationship which made me feel ignored by mr boyfren most of d;tyme?

Huge nO-nO for both! I din expect for a drastic change dat gonna happen to d’legs.in fact, lots of ppl talking bout its’improvement,and some of ‘em juz raising their eyebrow when I say dat im on diet n straightly ask me y and juz gave a simple comment like “dun be too skinny bcoz ull jjuz be like a “moving skeleton” and some said dat “its perfect enuff, dun bother or dun even think to let urself being hungry for something worse”.

Well, practically, its my body and I have my own plan on it “, I retort.bluek!
-errm, no la actually,im gonna take both good and bad comments as sumtihg dat cud regain my spirit to accomplish my mission-hee,to lose few killos.haha. juz wanna see myself lil bit thinner than bfore without sacrificing my “asset” –n u know whutt!haha.

And for d;second assumption, its really off d;track! Dis relationship brought me too much happiness than I expected. Feel grateful knowing him n I juz hope dat me n him gonna be together forever.amen. in fact,I have no complaints at all as im having d’greatest companion for myself after a very long searching.whoaaa-haha.

Ok,so what’s d'thing on earth dat cud make me feel like kicking sum1 ass err,even thinking of to do more than dat dis tyme. Yeah,im overreacting to my probs in d;office, did i?i’ve ever felt like dis bfore, I resolve dat this time will be better, but err…actually I juz feel tired wif all dis.2 years in d’world where ive never met my satisfaction.y? bcoz im not doing whut I think im gonna be expert in d;end or else,I feel like I have to do dis and dat bocz of dat “sesuap nasi’-ooo,now I sound pathetic!actually, dis feeling gonna come when I had no idea on what ive done for d’whole month or after sum1 considered as a big fish in d’office scold me or made me feel like im useless,I dun know dis and dat and erggh,wth?im still learning?whut do u expect?even I know sumtyme it was my mistakes ,but errgghh…i totally out of my mind I think!

Well, aftermath, it made me think of how slow am I in dis realm( I mean dis processing part) bcoz I think in my whole life I never felt like im so stupid as im rite now.err,I mean a bit slow to catch up things, opps!stop! yess, juz recalled sumthng, yeah I felt stupid when I tcomes to math! Wth? Numbers? Give me n im gonna Fail!try me n im gonaa drop! Maybe my job made me feel like its look like math subject in d’skool! I hate it. lots of numbers and even worse i need to work wif formulas.ouh mY GOD! physics man,its called physics! u gimme math,ill fail n if u gimme physic ill drop! sigh!!! and wif d'engineer title bhind my name (which i never wishd for to hold it),its juz reassure dat by hook or by crook ,no matter what happen, i hafto live wif those numbers and formulas for d'rest of mylife? D'rest?ermm...

all dis while, i wonder if i enjoy working here or i juz pretend like i love dis jobs but in d'end i juz feel numb.sigh.
yet,im still wondering bout other ppl who might also facing d'same ctuation wif me.i asked daddy n he replied "i think lots of ppl dun like their jobs,me either, but to live and to survive, u hafto feel grateful for what ur life has been destined"

errmm,but we can seek for happiness in d'other way 'round rite? which cud make us feel more comfortable after we found d'rite tune on how to breath happily every second in dis life and enjoying what's belong to us . who knows? so,shud i stay or not? errmm..... or else, maybe i hafto work hard to make myself falling in love wif my job and try to understand every single part of it?----again.. i dunno.sigh!.

Im piffling to much in dis post?let me be! im pretty much hectic wif dis job lately...