Monday, September 29

Selamat Hari Raya

+Selamat Hari Raya to all+

+maafkan salah silap , terkasar bahasa, terlajak kata, tersilap percaturan, sesungguhnya saya tidak sempurna...+

to hamidah syuaibah: thanks & sorry for everything
u never give up on me---i know that, i love u soooo much n u r my bestie

Friday, September 26

+ emo...+

apabila hal ketidaksempurnaan yang diperbincangkan, i just sitting here silently, tears rolling on mycheek and im telling myself "shhhHHhhh...dun be sad..u know u r not doing good enuff in many things, n even sumtyme u forgot bout what GOD ask u to do n prohibit u from things u shudnt do. no1 gonna help u. n u know to whom u should turn to...GOD, give me light, give me strength n give me loves" -i end up praying....

saye redha.....

Monday, September 22

stress therapy=)

I was captivated by d’lush, beautiful picture of this 1 lady with curly hair (I wont reveal who is she- I think few close frens of mine sure can guess-lorrr) – big curl hair really works on her. So yesterday, I dragged myself to to do a lil bit hairdo for my hair. N tadaa….. here I’ve got it perm! Congratulations!- sound like im gonna have a great look like her-heh! Ridiculous! I know. But dats me. Keep on changing my hairstyle is one of my irresistible habit. I think I already changed my hairstyle bout 3tymes dis year. Its juz I still keep it long, over my shoulder length wif layered cut. I think I easily getting bored wif d’same hairstyle and d’max period dat I can bear maybe more or less 3 months!sigh….

So, dis experiment will be last around next week.obviously bfore raya. I dun want to ruin my “raya” day wif ugly,messy hair. Wuwuuww..but I think its gonna be fine, I love d’outcome for what ive done yesterday actually. =) .credit to d’hairstylist. Yeah, back to d’ “keep on changing my hairstyle” topic, I think “posh” is d’best person to bcome s d’icon as every1 knows she keeps on trying to get her best look by changing her hairstyle. And posh really deserve dat “posh” nick name as she knows d’best way to present d’ “posh” name. And beckham as well, they are a perfect couple dewh. Stylo, bravo n posh-O.hehehe.. (is there any word like dat?).haha.

Okie, back to work, I think every nite bfore going to sleep, I told myself to wake up early d’next day n wif full zest n energy im going to sleep juz to make my objective for d’next day to be fulfilled. But I rarely achieve d’objective when I slowly open my eyes 1 hr late than my alarm suppose to scream. And I do things sluggishly juz to take d’s0-called-my-rajin-mood-to-do-things and I end up reach office 1 hour late than I expected. And every morning im going to d’office stressed, rushed and frazzled and I juz make things worse occay. I know2. its bad.sigh. i need some motivations to be as a hardworking gurl, I think. But what d’heck if I still have to go home after “break fast” tyme or still late than 1900hrs in d;evening? Ouh,so I think its better for me to reach office around 9 n go home around –erghhhh – anytime after 1900hrs. grRRRRrr….so, now make sense y Im going late 2 d’offce rite? So, no more resolution to wake up early in d’morning. Hurray!!!!!haha… sudah doinks saye ini. Enuffla of being as a morning person thingy.

Love life: mr boyfren told me he’ll be going to spain for a week after his crew change n then will be in Malaysia for 2 weeks, than fly back to Norway for a week until the next crew change. So, 6weeks of waiting, 2 weeks of loveyy-doveyy tyme n 5weeks of waiting again. Anyone tougher than me in handling “distance situation”? Put ur hands up!

A guy wif his retarded face -whom i miss d'most!

Later. Taaa….

Sunday, September 21

On d'way of taking compliments (small topic only) =)

U gonna squirm at compliments given to u or juz accept it wif grace?
Me? Squirm + negate it a bit + sometimes retort wif a feigned “really?” “am i?” “u think so?- (haha, please la,u guys did dat also rite?hehe- juz to double confirm actually- *big grin*) . lots of reactions. But it differs according to d’person who’s doing the complimenting, rite? If I know its work related and I feel its well deserved, so ill react wif a simple thank then, but if I know it sounds like sooo beayoutiful or sound insincere (like having “kepentingan2 tertentu”- seperti apabila anda menerima compliments from mr louqe or cik hamidah- please juz ignore it and put on a poker face –haha…)

Iskh. Y dis topic came out? Saje2. hehe. Juz its part of our topic dat ;ve been discussed during our catchin’ up session yesterday. And it was funny. Mls nak cerite panjang,nanti mcm mengumpat plak…hehhee..kering pahale puase saye –wuwuwuwuw….

Ouh yeah, and its been a week since he left me last Sunday- seee 1 week already n another 4 weeks left. Im getting used wif this rotation. Counting days for him to come home and when he’s here, am counting days for him to go offshore again. Heh. That’s part of a dreary truth of mylife. But as I said in the previous entry, im gonna take it in a very2 positive way. The 5weeks moment when we r farther from each other, its not really awful dewh. Im appreciating d’distance now. In fact, I feel auspicious wif d’5 weeks separation sumtyme bcoz its really make us appreciate each other more when we r together. So, to hell wif any1’s augury bout us – full stop.

Few frens commenting bout my entry lately bcoz its too mushy and full wif boyfren thingy. Okie, pardon me.wuwuwuuw…..But they said, they eager to know more bout our xtvties when mr boyfren is home. Usually, we always have plan to do or place to go when he’s home. Okie, for his last break, we juz spent most of d’tyme like what other couples usually do –movie, shopping, n urmmm, not so much interesting xtvties to be told I guess, but his last break was d’longest 1 and am happy spending most of d;tyme wif him eventho its just normal xtvties. (he’s very bz wif his work and so do i- so no vacation plus, it doesn’t make sense laaa if everytyme he’s home, we need to go for vacation – but I think doing lots of overseas trips (traveling) bfore having kids is what we gonna do, (he told me so…).. ouh ,we went to gunung senyum and cherating wif few of my best buddies (mun, aswad, hazel, fauzi) and we had lots of funs there.yippie =).. im gonna post bout it soon n seems like more pictures for u guys to browse. Heeee….

+ because relationship is a marathon, not a sprint +

Letting Go.....

I went for catching up session wif few ex skoolmates last nite sumwhere in malacca. (alang2 balik kg tu, go catch up wif member2 lamela kan).. lots of issues we’ve been talk about, and part of d’issues dat had been raised up are more about contentment in life.. and somehow they raised up an issue about my life…

“ur life ‘ve been blessed since u were young”

“what else u wish to have in life wanie, since I think u ‘ve got almost everything dat u want? “

“I think u have a perfect job, u r pretty, curvy and tall (ini betol2 ayat bodek, nak duet raye ke kawan2???cittt ) nice boyfren and happy life, u shud be grateful”

I think all guesses up there might be wrong. yeah, Alhamdulillah, I have a blissful life till today, but whutt u guys know bout what I should face in life afterall?

Lot and lots of things which no need for me to share wif every1 here. But trust me, life aint about things u bought, what car u drive, in what house u r living or what type of boyfriend dat u have (OMG, now I sound like my life is sooo complicated like im having responsibilities that I couldnt endure and sounds like my life is too painful- aiyooo)

No la, its just d’matter of d’way u handle ur life . im not a perfectionist type, so I juz let go few things which I think by having or getting it, my life would be perfect (soo simple- am i? paham ke?-hehehe) actually, what my opinion is –satisfaction in life wasn’t about perfection because I think perfection, in itself, is imperfect because we don’t get a chance to fail and learn from our failure. and please stop complaining about ur life! got ppl out there must be more suffer than u r! so trust me, every1 has their own problems and for me,i prefer to keep things between me n myself only.

Every1 has their own dreams, living in a life in a way they wished for, having sum1 who can make their life complete. But we wont always have what we wish in life, dats d;fact. Face it. Live wif it. Juzs live life to d’fullest and u’ll be happy. Dun wish for anything which is beyond our control to make it happen in d’future and dun expect too much in life. Live life as d’way it is. Change few things which u think It might giving u more happiness but what most important is , pray to GOD- always- in order to live in a peaceful life and to get continuous blessing from HIM. And dun forget to feel grateful 4 who u r and what u have now. Cintailah kesederhanaan diri anda seperti saye. =P (alamak, I sound like my dad rite? Or a motivator? ) hehe.

ok,change mode....

I tink I need to go get a new handbag for hari raya, am now longing for a handbag wif cane handle and gold detail or off-white leather bag maybe?...hehe…

Bottomline : I shopped 2 handbags in London last few months and it juz sitting inside the wardrobe most of d’tyme. I think it dusty now and need to be cleaned up.*sigh*

Tuesday, September 16

+ day 1st -on batmobile and a WII dance mat =) +

i cant believe i went to d'toilet for few tymes today to avoid ppl from noticing me crying. i was crying in front of my workstations everytyme my mind flew to amsterdam n catch d'picture of mR patrick..while listening to "hari raya song" that have been uploaded by him juz bfore he took off. mengade dengar lagu sdey (sepasang kurung biru) then sedar, tears already at d'corner of my eyes,so bfore org nampak,better gi toilet kan..wuwuwuwu... n i dunno y, dis is d'1st tyme ever i feel sooo sad after he leaves me. usually,i can juz get rid of it within few hrs after he took off. but not dis tyme,does it means, he really own my heart, isnt he?

okie,on d'way we went to KLIA, after i told him dat i gonna miss him sooooo much, he told me like "how if u ingat from d'1st day i blk dat day until d'next 5weeks, what we went tru n everything we did together", the stories herein i think, maybe care ini sungguh bekesan to get rid off dis-soo-called-desperately-need-him-rite-now-feeling.hahahhaah..

so, on d'1st day he arrived, we meet up and he brought along a WII dance mate he bought in norway i think(purpose of buying: he know i'd love to dance anytyme i got chances to do dat, n to tone up my body tru dancing n of coz want to add up my extra xtvties at home and at d'same tyme making me less bored and he also bought me a box of Lindt chocs.(yummy....)so, i gave him batmobile in return (after few times thinking of kids stuff, i think im gonna support him on dis-hafto!-hishhh).

so, pics worth....

WII dance mat - mr bf knows me well =)

Batmobile -seems like we know each other very well =)

n here comes a 'macho' batman

a hero wif his bike

every1's all tyme fav hero "mR batman"

Monday, September 15

and "things" come and go

holla back!!!

i know2..poyonye didnt jot down even a single word in this column when mr boyfren was around.haha. silela maafkan kami.
so,u ppl sure can guess dat he's leaving 4 5 weeks starting from today when dis entry posted. once again....he leaves me for quite huge number of days.sigh.. but no complaints...seriously,juz a lil sigh. a little... bcoz of being alone rite now...but honestly, deep inside my heart, i agree wif "distance" that we shud face n go tru 4 5weeks,bcoz it'll make us more appreciate every single moment dat we have when we spend our tyme together.serious people,it works! "distance" do keep us stong n more stronger each days.

huh, i juz sent him to KLIA, as usual, (dis tyme already my 6th tyme sending him to d'airport)i still cannot force my eyes to drop any tears. i dunno y,its hard for me to cry when seeing him go tru check in counter and going down to departure hall by escalator. my eyes hesitate to drop any tears. and i guess dats what he wants. he showed me how strong he is going tru dis "dramatic" moment and at d'same tyme he really hopes dat i can go tru it maturely and i can handle it, here im....crying alone at home.naah!!!!!wuwuuwuww..not really, i din cry..its juz i feel lonely, damne lonely rite now.but its ok,tyme will heal as every1 said.

ouh, and 1 of d'reason y i cudnt cry juz now was bcoz of parking system in KLIA.whutt d'heck i need to pay for 129rm for parking??? doesnt make sense rite? sgtla choy!!!! not us only, but got few ppl senasib dgn kami. so,to all, PLEASE DONT PARK UR CAR IN BLOCK A -KLIA. otherwise ull be charged for 129rm..huh, sudahla nak create mood nak nangis for dis farewell to agak susah,ade plak bende2 tk patut menimpe,lagila tak jadik.cissss..... so,mr bf accompanied me to mycar n kissed me goodbye on d'forehead. so,tidakla saye menangis.sekali lagi,gagal!hahahha....okie, 115am in d'morning n i have to go to work tomorrow. to mR azman patrick -U R 1 IN A' MILLION =)*kisses n hugs*