past and present....

ok, fine.

am feeling depressed/sad all of a sudden!why ouh why? maybe i can whatt??? blame the hormones!yes!haha.kesian jadi hormon asyik kene blame.

ok,come to think of pimple, ill give huge-huge sigh to all the pimples on me face! seriously. if la pimples2 ni bley ckp kt diri mereka "eh biarla kasi can muka minah ni licin setahun" confirm i buat kenduri=P like seriously!

tried sooo many products from cheap to expensive ones but still no changes. dulu2 mase anak dareeeeee...anak dareee ok, pimples jarang nak singgah2 kt muka psl makan hormone pills Dr ting yg famous tu. his clinic situated at jalan imbi. but since after kawen ,takkan pulak nak makan hormone pills nanti takut xdpt baby. ni dah dpt baby, takot makan pills psl nak breastfeed baby,takot effect ke ape (eh xcheck plak with docs kan?bley ke tak ek?. then next year tak bley jugak amek pills because rase-rase mcm nak beranak lg (eh seriously kerja beranak je ke kau?) my frens always ask me that.so bilenye kulit nak smooth like a baby'?haha. well,different org differentla planningnye kan.insyaAllah if ade rezeki =). so godek2 balik pics lame2, dapatla pics time muka tak berape nak ade pimples like skrg, pic skrg krg tak pyahla tgk, sebab baik post pics Azriff kot dr diri sendiri.wuwuwu.

                                             ini masa dating!eh miss that long wavy hair!

inside the cable car.langkawi. zaman2 bercinta.

ok,pics ni mmg sangat sukeeee sbab menampakkan ciri2 kayuan pada seorang yg tak ayu.haha *eh prasan*

1st time got prezzie frm boyfie (now hubby).sweet giler ok.auuwwww=P

berposing ngn "coach" sbab sepanjang kerja xrase nk beli pon,rase membaziq!tp bile boyfie(now hubby) belikan senyum sampai telinge. this time i was 24.wahh muda kan? kan? haha

bab products pulak mcm2 dah try, dr yg made in malaysia, Japan,US bagai.mcm hampeh semua xjadi. *ini fakta seidh sila nangis beramai2*. sobs. products yg i dh try:

1) felissa cosmetics -ok jugak actually product ni pakai ms zaman2 study but the peeling part was too agressive.sakit ok.so stop mase kerja.

2) alken -langsung tak ok!

3) olay - tidak memberikan kesan langsung!

4) tia emilia - ok jugak but after 6 mos dah immune n not working at all.


5) SK2 -pffft!hate this.u buy expnsive products and it was just not match with ur skin type.the pitera was like triggered the pimples to come out more often then it should be!saddddd.


6) took new york skin solutions treatment. it was like everytime pergi ad eje bende kene beli n muka tak ok2 jugak.the heck kan? so, memang benci giler,now just pergi for normal facial je since dah byr beribu2 for the treatment kan.wasted!

well,if u u n u got any suggestions on how to get perfect flawless skin, please do not hesitate to share with me.am dying to get flawless skin.pretty please =) thank youuuuuuu.

life and destiny

UNDO

and

DELETE

if that "thing" keep on burdening my mind and torturing my feeling,
i'd rather stick with my 1st thought,

"be thankful...i know im lucky and and i should be grateful wif what 've been given to me"

is it easy to be deleted?

nope.

im struggling.

sigh.........

about being lucky and unlucky -

we cant be happy all the time right?

an update:

yesterday me had buke puase session wif future in laws.
It's vital to get to know your fiance's parents, rite?!
so.. tadaa..now, im still learning on how to deal and handle my in laws
it will may take some effort - (but seems like everything is fine & in control so far)
2 way communication between me & 'em make my life easier,
yeah, sometime i feel like my schedule is very tight,
but still i can spare the time wif his family
seriously, family harmony is definitely worth the effort!
*bling2...i feel soo lucky in this part*


some time im kinda worry wif my desire.
i think it could make my life miserable,
I do not want to jeopardize my pleasant life,
but....ergghhhh, i should face whatever that might happen in the future right?
* ouh, i hate this part right hereeee-=P*

may GOD bless- amin

salam merdeka

Looking back all the years, all the sacrifice
If you want to be the best you've got to pay the price
You learn it from the very start just how hard you must try
'Coz if you don't spread your wings then you can't fly
Look at where you are today
Did you ever think that you would come all this way ?

And now you're
"Standing In The Eyes Of The World"
Only moments away from what can be
There's a passion in the hearts of a few
ever waiting inside to be set free
When the time comes and your spirit
takes flight and you reach into
your soul and live it with all of your might
And there's no surprise that you're
And everyone tries when you're
"Standing In The Eyes Of The World"

Many have hopes and dreams that will not come true
And all of them left behind now they will live in you
Everyone feels the same once a day in the sun
But sometimes there is only room for one
Never ever been so near now the chance is finally here

the words and phrase motivates me to study hard and bring the victory home everytime after sitting for examination *yeah, d'big exam of course*

it also encourage me to prove to everyone that i can be as a successful person one day...

but seems like until now , in the age of 24, im still the old me, neither a successful person nor the one who can be as someone's idol. *yeah, i know i should be grateful for who i'm now and what i have at this moment- thanks to ALLAH*.. but in term of happiness *minus the relationship part- ouh yeah,im talking about my job now* seems like it still below par..
how can i be happy if i put my job as a priority and leaving all d'other things behind but im still not good at it, not really understand what im doing, how everythings works, how to do this, how to do that and i wonder how many days, months or years i can survive if i continuously doing thing that i dont really like, which is not my interest at all plus not even close to my ambition since i was young. nobody knows the pain that i endure, the thing is people judge me with materials, people judge the outside of me, yes i look happy, but no one knows how miserably my life is, when i have to worry about my job every single day,about my performance, about other people's perception of me and duh....so many things i hafto worry. moreover, no holidays for me, weekend in the office or work from home. ive tried sooo hard to give my best in what im doing, seems like sooo many things distract me, and other obligations require me to not really spending my time in the office during weekend. i miss my parents, i miss my fiance, i miss my friends.
but y on earth i always have no time for them? esp my parents? and why mommy still forcing me to keep this job? y mr fiance tell me to hang in there, things will work out? y dont anyone understand what i want and let me do things that i like?

yes, im trying to evaluate things in a very professional way,
i analyse things from different view, but i still stuck wif my first thought
" this is not the job i want and this is not what im suppose to do"

but why i dont dare to change it and just sitting on the chair that i used to sit for more than 3years? OMG!

can i survive wif lower salary?
can i survive if my salary is just around 4K permonth *if i got new job later*
can i survive if i have no money at all?
can i survive if im not who im today?
can i survive with the new job title?

can i?

and the big step i would make is to step from of oil n gas industry.
its not my thing, not my field and not my cup of tea.
yes, i can work wif O&G, but not as who im today, i love management & marketing more.

GOD, please help me. its such a pain in the ass when i have to wake up every morning and drag myself to work unwillingly with an unhappy face.

*i really need help*

demoralized!

i hate tomorrow..
i hate exams, assessments, interviews and all d'stupid systerm in d'world that i need to go tru for several times in my life...sigh..

may GOD help me...

i sense sumthing which is not really good.
ouh, expecting for d'worst!

sigh!!!!

a smile and it's story =)

im staying at rozana' place for now.....since my darling rmc is no longer stay wif me at my place. sunyi rupenye bile cik hamidah takde-wuwuwuuwuw...
haihh...need to find new house next month (my 1 year contract wif d'owner will be finished in may)- but its not easy to find a place where you would stay for 5 or 6 months only. yeah,i will consider service apartment and i think i need to put it in the list but will make it as my last resort. and d'new place should be around keramat or setiawangsa area (im strictly will not consider a place that will take me more than 15 mins to reach office everyday)-thank you. *sigh*

okie, that wont be any problem for me to find a new place *hoping*,if susah sgt consider lanai gurney service apartment sudaaa...OMG, broke laa for another 5-6 months! cittt....



there are reasons for me to keep on smiling and enjoying dis life =)

1. Daily fresh franchisee application-approved!
2. MBA application- approved!
3. Engagement ring -(resize and engrave)-Done!
picture? wait until my engagement day =P
4. preparation for engagement - 90% Done!
(wow! semangat,am i?, a month to go baby =) )
5. my weight now? 50kg- hooray! berjaye! *big grin*
(i think its consider ideal for me, i dont want to have skinny leg and have no 2B's =) )for those who understand)

pending things

1. boutique application - ongoing,am working hard to make sure i can open a boutique 1 day
2. tanah kelapa sawit - hanya org2 yg mengetahuinya saje yg akan paham apekah gunenye *shrug*
3. other things that can be considered as properties for investment when we own it.
4. scholarship for MBA (i already put quite huge amount of money aside to pay for my MBA fees, but if i can get scholarship, it would be better kan)

ouh, 1 important thing apart from above: 4. for boyfren to come home
i didnt hear his voice for 4 days since last week. chitt....sgt choy!
grrRRrrr....... tak boley consider lagi..esok tak call. mogok lapar! hahahahaa

+ SO whutt? ++

im sooo tired! lots of damne "dramas" in my life
it's juz like episode by episode
n it happened continuously...
like - errgghhh!!!!

N those "drama queens" dat i mingled around pretty much talented as well,
dewh... which always end up wif provocation (of coz from their side) n fulll wif emotions..
like wth? i dun give a damne pon!

and i think "saya sudah penat" untuk menjage hati org.
jauh ke dekat ke....
1Q? who'll take care of my heart, prevent it from hurt
and treat it wiff full attentions?

eventually :: ME!

i know. so i want to meet life. in whatever form pon!
im now bcome as a so-called-problematic-person
like life is full wif problems, no it isnt really "problem"
but about satisfaction, passion n desire!
and about d'way sum1 treat me leately.
sigh. i need help!
a psychiatrist maybe
ergghhh!!!!

nway, ive changed the link to the www.theultimate711.blogsopot.com
i changed my name as well to sweetie_Evy *dunno y on earth i stuck wif dat name*
reasons: 1) to avoid stalkers (who might find my blog by googling my name)
2) to free my blog my colleagues! (ini sangat penting!)-woooo

okie-daa
i need rest, i need rest, i need rest...

eeeiiiiiii

after struggling for about 2 days (more or less) for 1 stupid thing which i wasnt supposed to care about pon, 2days with sooo damne full of emotions - misunderstood - misinterpreted n mcm2 lagila which was such a burdensome distress.a so-called Troubledness (adeke word ni??ngee)sungguh. huh, by d'way i managed to get over it wif all d' strength dat i gathered from tyme to tyme + supportive gfs (they did big part too). thanks to all.

n urghhh.big relief in d'end! big applause to me . seriously i managed to overcome dis stupid prob which was soo painful to endured successfully + calmly and errr by being as a good pretender. pure2 happy, lame2 happy betol2..kakkaka...n siap tolong settlekan prob org skali at d'same tyme..oooOOhhhh...but i felt glad for it.

ergh, am longing for someone who is not present - mR boyfren-, but i know he wont be able to be wif me all d'tyme - yerp, i need him d'most -these days. but nvm laaa, ill pass!
it juz got tyme when i feel so damne mengade2 n desperate for a piece of his attention, *taking a deep breath* n exhale peacefully.... he loves me. i know...dat is y, i juz bear wif distance n wait until d'next 2weeks to come n im gonna see him again...insya-ALLAH. yeah miles and miles may keep us apart, but no distance can divide the bond of our hearts. *hoping* - aint dis post bcome too mushy now??tett!!!! hahhahah

haaaa... love you baby... and all my gfs.

im getting feD up =(

i have no prob wif mY body except for my thighs.
and im getting fed up!
im no longer prOud wif d'"asset" given to me as every1 said.
im working soo hard to make my thighs smaller.
im longing for slender legs.
i know when i do lots of exercises n control food taken,
i can see a bit different on my thighs but still.. juz a lil bit of diff
and im not satisfied at all.


im gonna do liposuction. i dun care d'side effect or whutt.
i juz wanna do dat. i've found d'best place to do it .
Ko specialist and i already ask about d'price
12K is minimum budget and 18K is d'max
(it depends on amount of fats removed).
im gonna do, im tired of thinking on how to burn fats
n im getting fed up with dieting program and exercises.
i feel damne pressure and only myself know how pressure im, facing this
problem and thinking of d'best way to get rid of those fats!!!!!
im not going to deal wif this s**t anymore.
juz get it done and be happy. dats all.

enuff.

Bau dan Warkah.....

Takkan lagi aku menunggu
Kau hadir di dalam mimpi-mimpiku
Puasku mengharapkan dirimu
Seperti mereka yang punya cinta

Diriku tanpa dirimu
Kau tempuhi penuh bahagia
Diriku mahu kau tahu
Pedih ini kau tak terasa

Warkahku mengharapkan dirimu
Seperti yang aku kenali dulu
Setiaku menantikan dirimu
Seperti setianya terhadap diriku

Tapiku melepaskan mu
Melangkah namun tak berdaya
Terusku terus menunggu
Cinta yang takkan pernah ada

got tyme when i feel deeply upset but i cant even say a word bout it..
sacrifice, decision n fate...all are burdens for me now.
and i keep asking myself...will i regrate later on?
or my sacrifice will worth those happiness dat i wish to happen in my life everyday?
GOD knows. and im praying...okie, i drop it now.

keyboard off...

a lil bit update...

i cant be like dis forever.
i hafto make my own decision n stick to it.
nobody can influence me on making decision.
and i think after few considerations,
i already know the answer.
may GOD bless me. amen.

okie, today i was bergumbira sakan outing wif parents and siblings. apelagi, beraye to my aunts' and uncles' =) .
eventho a bit upset wif few things, but nvm laaa...
juz swallow d'bitter part and forget about it.

OMG, tomorrow i hafto go to d'offce. workloads.
haihh...i think ppl started to notice my improvement n im so glad bout it.
i know im not expert in doing processing,
i have to learn lot of things lagi,
but at least i tried. eventho sumtyme i juz hentam kromo saje.

k la, pics lagi.. when me + dad + d'sisters hiked up gunung lambak yg tak berape tinggi tu around 4 months ago.weeee..dad loveeeees to go hiking, climbing, marathon and things related to it. sangatla adventurous n loves challenging.
and very healthy conscious. adeke naik gunung 3 tymes a week juz to get fresh water from dat gunung. aduh! sabar jerkla....

ok, enjoy d'pics...

see d'sign? i step on it.dun care.ngeee

dad left us bhind..sigh

d'sisters..

freak!! dad likes to drink water form dis mountain,he bottled it and bring it back home..

halfway to peak..

ok, i need to reduce fats inside my body.need to go swimiming. gtg.later.taaaa...

+ When goOD things came in a bundle!!!>>...+

IT SPoILT ME TO d'MAX!!!!!! ergghhhh..

plus

it took me almost an hour to be home everyday due to gridlock + flood + raining season (ouh-get used-get used!!!*sigh*)

=
im in grief! haihss...

ouh dun be grouchery, rite. neither a grumbler. but uwaaa....

haishh..shut up! stop grouching n grumbling. but uwaaa again...

" Di mana dia mr patrick saya " (out of sudden)

i refuse to be happy lately. y?

bcoz im in confusion..haihss...again

errmm, sudalaa..better upload raya pics in dis entry..dpt juga tengok muke kanak2 comel (not me obviously)..hehehe...i compiled raya pics from 1st raya (me n my sibling n cousin in orange at grandma's), me wearing red kebaya ( 4th day raya-mustang convoy), me in white kebaya (2nd day raya open house at parent's )and me in decent kurung biru (last saturday convoy wif offcemate from rawang to pj to keramat n sum of em to s.alam)...gile mesra rakyat kami ni..hehehhee..enjoy d'pics =)


















aksi cute from zharif..cute sgt si kecik ni...












soo lazy to help out during open house at parents -we camwhored -wuuuuuuuuu+

going or not going ni??? adeh2.... tata..nite2..

+ emo...+

apabila hal ketidaksempurnaan yang diperbincangkan, i just sitting here silently, tears rolling on mycheek and im telling myself "shhhHHhhh...dun be sad..u know u r not doing good enuff in many things, n even sumtyme u forgot bout what GOD ask u to do n prohibit u from things u shudnt do. no1 gonna help u. n u know to whom u should turn to...GOD, give me light, give me strength n give me loves" -i end up praying....

saye redha.....

and "things" come and go

holla ppl..im back!!!

i know2..poyonye didnt jot down even a single word in this column when mr boyfren was around.haha. silela maafkan kami.
so,u ppl sure can guess dat he's leaving 4 5 weeks starting from today when dis entry posted. once again....he leaves me for quite huge number of days.sigh.. but no complaints...seriously,juz a lil sigh. a little... bcoz of being alone rite now...but honestly, deep inside my heart, i agree wif "distance" that we shud face n go tru 4 5weeks,bcoz it'll make us more appreciate every single moment dat we have when we spend our tyme together.serious people,it works! "distance" do keep us stong n more stronger each days.

huh, i juz sent him to KLIA, as usual, (dis tyme already my 6th tyme sending him to d'airport)i still cannot force my eyes to drop any tears. i dunno y,its hard for me to cry when seeing him go tru check in counter and going down to departure hall by escalator. my eyes hesitate to drop any tears. and i guess dats what he wants. he showed me how strong he is going tru dis "dramatic" moment and at d'same tyme he really hopes dat i can go tru it maturely and i can handle it welly.so, here im....crying alone at home.naah!!!!!wuwuuwuww..not really, i din cry..its juz i feel lonely, damne lonely rite now.but its ok,tyme will heal as every1 said.

ouh, and 1 of d'reason y i cudnt cry juz now was bcoz of parking system in KLIA.whutt d'heck i need to pay for 129rm for parking??? doesnt make sense rite? sgtla choy!!!! not us only, but got few ppl senasib dgn kami. so,to all, PLEASE DONT PARK UR CAR IN BLOCK A -KLIA. otherwise ull be charged for 129rm..huh, sudahla nak create mood nak nangis for dis farewell to agak susah,ade plak bende2 tk patut menimpe,lagila tak jadik.cissss..... so,mr bf accompanied me to mycar n kissed me goodbye on d'forehead. so,tidakla saye menangis.sekali lagi,gagal!hahahha....okie, 115am in d'morning n i have to go to work tomorrow. to mR azman patrick -U R 1 IN A' MILLION =)*kisses n hugs*

i showed mine, now show a piece of urs!

effort? where is it? show it to me!
at least... a piece of it...

miserable. meet it by mistake.
diffuseness. abviously dominating part of it now.

what else? is it fade already?

damne. dis mind suddenly stuck sumwhere in johore.
almost 8years ago punye cerite.mcm doinks!!

eiiii, cik hamidah yg mereng telah memakaikan bear saye dgn kimono n skirt.
she's having PMS rite now. dats y sumtyme she acted like she was out of her mind.haha
lets take a look of d'pic. ull laugh half dead! hehhhhehehehee..



+johnny (name given by cik hamidah) wif skirt n kimono =P+

+basicallY...things dat i will do....+

when I'm STRESS...outttTTTT



1)nOt in d'moOd to even look at anybOdy's face when i talk 2 'em..but im a good pretender,sumhow i cud hiding dis uncomfortable feeling,juz for those who close to me will notice it.



2)a-must-do-activity---listening to d'music dat cud heal mYsoul....



3)eaT a Lot--cant resist..heh!

feeling like want to put dis blog lengthy.but still cant upload any images inside it due to the network's connection which is damneee slOOOww...
btw,cant help dis feeling nowadays.which is d'feeling like "Lazy to work" and "feel sleepY d'whole day"..wonder y i never felt sleepy when im working in d'office eventho it sumtimes or most of d'times took me more than 14hrs non-stop working.most probably bcoz of d'pressure dat i've got frm everybody,or might b bcoz of i had so many things to do while working like chatting and blogging and friendster-ing..=)
=okie,last word for today,lets go off those who likes to bother me,in d'manner of dickens,i shout "u r EVIL,so shhhhh..stay away...hehehhe... dun have dat particular person actually,juz saje2 je,nak ckp camtu,bosan dewh....s i said,nothing to do now...wuwuuwuwu....jgn ade yg terPERASAN plakk....since im bored here,juz feel like yelling to d'whales and dolphin here to wrap away d'boredemnesss dat tailing me since lastday..haihhh......k peeps,im off

+d'hardshipness+mudDle===what a test :(+











s per request by mr stefan n mYself also wanted to upload d'pics in dis blog,instead of telling a very long story bout d'shit things dat had happend to me today for u guys watching it(purposely =))..above is our pics when we had din at fishmarket manhattan(or d'otherway around--hehehe)...

today is a verY damne bad day for me when i was juz realized dat 1 of my car's tyre already flat.surprisingly,i didnt notice it while i was driving n juz realized when suddenly all d'cars passing by were honking at me n were pointing to mycar.gasp!but i've controlD dis kind of ctuation wif mywit of coz :P, *unflappable mode*--hahaa--acted like i was cool eventho d'heartbeats getting faster at dat mo- and my stupidity was majoring me today by paYing 20bucks to d'parkingboY juz for replacing d'flat tyre wif d'perfect 1(ouh,mysparetyre in d'boot i mean).okie,mysilly mistake--damne it,n more worst,when actually he did nothing wif d'tyre,juz d'same condition bfore i went 2d'office dis morning--haihh--too bad..ouh,n mysignal suddenly didnt function well since last weekenD which is need to b'fixd ASAp but had no tyme at all n today im having probs wif both tyre n signals..urghhh.but thanks to amri for helping me today.drove d'car to d'workshop to B'repaird and thanks to faiz s well for driving me to d'workshoP to meet amri there.

and todaY i did nothing in d'office,browsed few islands'webbies to find out d'best place for snorkeling dis weekend.most probablY at perhentian island.bubu(long beach island)..erggh,i really can smelll d'blue sea n white beach now ;)--TEMpTINGGG---

was having an arguement wif my gfs--mykathryn,but finally we settled it down peacefully.ermm,mymistakes i think.dats what i should say--people keep changing for a better things n so do i.s d'time passing by,im trying to improve myself better than bfore.juz give me tyme n space k mydear gfs.i heart all of u =)

i think im better off now,n urghh--im into IT =) its bcome more obvious recentlY-- =) =) =)

ouh,d'task for tomorrow is:

1)sit down n talk to stefan,discussing bout our snorkeling plan--decide d'best place to B'
2)book for flight tickets n accomodations s well

ouh,ok==done!

+ouh..what a stressfulldaY ;(+

ergghh...i hate it when

+i coudnt answer correctly when mygroup leader loads us wif lotz of Qs+
+i neeD to face d'sluggish traffic eventho im back from office a around 7+ +

+still cannot get d'best frequencY so dat i cud listening to mYfav songs or atleast d'songs dat cud take off d'diffuseness+demoralization dat burdening me during an office hour+stressfull feeling dat wrapping me around for almost 10-12hrs in d'office.+

+i need to face dis stupid wireless turn on n off immediately for many times n obviouslY it's making me losing mytemper when d'chatting session between me&myfrens being interrupted n i can not uploading any pictures in myblog or myfriendster n ergghhh....i hate it!+

+i forgot to buy d'new HL milk or chocs milk to mix it well wif my fitness's cornflakes for mYdinner*sigh*+

+i need to do a big job such as a peer review(which is u r d'1 who shud xplain d'production to seniors staff n will facing lotz of Qs and struggling to find out d'answer at dat mo when u r getting nerves n ur adrenaline going high like u want to jump out from dis building(dis is myfirst tyme ok :( )---ergghhh+

+i want to go to d'vessel n i hate working in d'office..i HATE d'environment n i hate to face d'same thing everYday..im kind of a "lasak" woman,so i cannot bear sitting in front of comp most of d'tyme n meeting wif client almost everyweek..ergghhh...i think i shud find out mysatisfaction from now on..but when i think back,i cannot wear shortskirts,jeans,t-shirt,curduroy paints when im working on board,all d'tyme i have to wear coverall..ouh tidak..i tend to grow s a lady nowadays,so a lil make up really suit me i think--hehhee+

ok..stop bubbling u sicko(refer to me)--ill update bout go-kart n futsal tomorrow--yeay

+i will adapt to mYenVironment n cope wif it...*praYing*+

yeah...yesterday evening was meaningfull to me..i need to admit dat,sumtime n most probably everYtyme i did mistakes,i should admit it,i should lean back n relax,ponderin' mymistakes n find out d'solution to correct everything dat goes wrong..yeah,peace of mind can be acquired by accepting the worst-case scenario..i admit dat,i xperienced it for many tymes....

after plaYing squash wif myteamleade(TL),-s i mentioned d'day bfore we really got a big fight-,so we settled it down n found d'conclusion to make things clear..so now,i know mymistakes and i promised him to never make it happen once again but 4 d'tyme being,i need to cope wif d'environment first..i need to put mYself in dis environment,not forcing d'environment to suit me. and i think for now,i juz set in mymind dat if i made mistakes in d'past,juz learn from them n then,let them go...and im gonna stick wif it...

but patience alwaYs has its limit..i need to hear d'big "S" word from him also,but he still...refused to admit anything,but i understand...egoistic comes first when it comes to d' man..an appologY for 'em seems like puttinG their pride at d'bottom of myfeet..yeah,i juz need to noe how to handle d'ctuation,how to cool down everytyme i lose mytemper and if GOD's willing,i cud handle myself n him without jump into any kind of tense condition or being in d'middle of arguement...

all i need here is just B' STRONG--stefen told me this..and hey,he lost his GPS when he was in beijing,China...he'd been there for 1week n he left his GPS in d'taxi dat he took when he went to d'forbidden citY.he juz forgot bout dat things for a minute or two,n by d'tyme he rememberd it,dat taxi already gone..*sigh*..dat GPS cost about 350USD n if i were him,ill cry..damne it!and guess what???it was his 2nd GPS..he lost d'1st 1 also when he went travelling...stefen,dun buy dat thing again or u'll keep losing it everytyme u go travelling...u need to b'more carefull for next tme(reminding d'clumsY me too :P)

*off*

+ d' E.N.V.Yness inside me+


i dunnO..im okay..im okay..im not ok...yeah2,...i need to solve d'diffuseness in me,me myself is absolutelY in a big trouble by having a streak of jealousy n envy wif sumbody else who i should say here are almost perfect!
but i noe the fire of envy consumes the body,and excessive jealousy is like a ragging fire. but i juz coudnt help to change this nature and b more thankfull to GOD for giving me living in a life of tranqualitY,security and now im wishing for contentment....and how bout d'person who gave me lots of pains and headache???
might b i shud juz withdraw peacefully from places where idle arguements are going on
for d'tyme being n i think i should retain d'anger which is dominating me day by day....n then,i should stop babbling bfore it might b getting worse.....opsss..people..nway,happY chinese new year,enjoy ur holidays..done!