Tuesday, November 8

how to survive long distance relationship (LDR)

for those who are in a LDR and managed to survive successfully so far,i wish you: congratulations.
for me who have been years (ckp mcm lameee giler,padahal its just 4years baru=P) in LDR and can attests : it was hard in the beginning but as time passes by, im getting used to it and Alhamdulillah im going through this calmly and patiently and become more understanding on how to make things work for both sides.makin lame makin pro bak kate org tua2=P

ok, below are my tips actually more to my opinion on how to survive in LDR. if saudara saudari sekalian got extra tips, u r most welcome to add here and there and share with me=)

so, i think first and foremost as usual, UNDERSTANDING:which is the most important part.

understand ur partner's job/situation:

bila dah jauh2 tu,kenela faham2 situations org dekat sana.eg: he/she is there for study, work etc.
mostly because of those 2 right? so, list down priority students and employees of certain companies.
eg: dia ade mase 24hrs ke nak mengadap lappie,in short nak mengadap fb,ym berchatting dgn ko srgje, mcm xde kerja laen nak buat. then xpayahla yg ko pon mengade2 nak ngadap lappie je 24jam tungggu dia online. bawak2la buat kerja laen.eg: memasak,buat tocang rambut,ketip kuku....etc etc...
actually part ni was hard in the beginning, mase kt office pon dulu2 i online psl tunggu si dia online and chat with me.end up both online tp xsempat bertegur sape or borak sepatah dua psl xmenyempat siapkan kerja.macammm hampeh!

getting to know your partner

yela kan zaman2 mase mula2 nak bercinta and in LDR plak confirm u ols memang nak full attention, rase nak dia spend time to chat with u or talk to u on d'phone whole day (ni mostly ladiesla), but pleasela understand ur partner's routine, habit and tabiat! sebab as for certain males yg xberape nak sensitive eg: my hubby, my hubby, my hubby, dr mula2 zmn bercinta mmg jenis bukan bercinta mcm nak rak.meaning dia kerja on shift kt offshore nun for 12 hrs straight, then 12hrs la d'other time nak tidoq,makan,lepak wif frens atas kapal,basuh bj bagai. so aftr work mmg he'll on his ym but xla ngadap je nak chat ngn i.kdg2 tgh chat dia, mcm dia diam skejap,tyn gi mane.ckp gi gym.ek eleh bgtaula siang2 kan? xpon, bc paper online.wahhhhh,geram seyyy i dok ngadap laptop ni mcm nak msk dlm lappie die bley bc online paper.at 1st mmg susah gakla (actually xla susah sgt if krg dpt boyfie yg type dia xbc paper, xgi gym, xlepak ngn kawan2,dunia dia ialah work n u.so memang heavenla u.pas keje je mesti dia ngadap u sampai tertido atas lappie. and org2 camni mostly perot buncit.hahahhaa.so, better my boyfie going to d'gymla and socialize wf his friend.saye rela.kekekee.give him boy time la jugak kan.so silalah fahami ape yg partner anda suka and tak. but the most important thing is toleransi.waahhhh, toleransi tuuuu.hehe. if krg tak bley accept and mmg very clingy xbley accept ur partner's life dekat sane mmg susahla.it somehow can add a whole lot of stress to your already strained couplehood. so chill-chill saja.

DO NOT COMPARE YOUR PARTNER/RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHERS

ok, this part kene stress kan cket because u will always surrounded with friends yg ala-ala sedang bercinta jugak.so nanti mmg u'll always face situations like:

situasi satu:
"td kereta i rosak, kamal dtg tolong repair u,sweet kan, dia dr penang tros turun kl tu nk betolkan tyre i yg rosak punye pasal"

padahal yg u ols plak kenela terhegeh2 tukar tyre sendiri, or else call AAM ke ape, or worst dok situ srg2 berjam2 sementare tunggu rescue.hahaha.
so,silela ade mental yg kuat and make preparation dulu for few things. tak payah compare, ckp dlm hati biarla, boyfie dia dekat,selalu ade dgn dia,romantic lg terus turun dr penang tinggalkan sup hameed yg sedap tu semata2 nk tolong dtg tgk kereta ko rosak, padahal dtg2 tu call mechanic je keja dia, tu bley buat sendiri kot

so tak payah pk sangat, things happen and find ways to solve it.dont blame situations especially ur LDR. like me i mmg know how to tukar tyr kereta since bwk satria kt ukm dulu, bcoz i know i srg2 kt kl,and xsuka if kene susahkan boyfie bab ni.ouh i mmg ade 1 perangai yg bile susah2 i xsuke call boyfie dulu, i suke call my bestfriend .yerp a guy ms kt ukm.so mcm tula, silela belajar few things untuk survive.tukar try bukan susah sgt.tapiii skrgni i rs kene take time la if nk suruh i tukar tyre sbab ms kerja terus beli kereta yg  ade tyre RFT( run flat tyre).hahahah.so,bab2 tukar mmg dah lame xberlaku. RFT if ade symbol pancit kt kereta bley drive lg dlm 100km cmtu. so lalalalalala.heheheh. takpela, jgn nak mengada2 sgt,make it as ur own knowledge, guys will find the woman with brain is HOT!heh! dulu mase i dgn hubby deting detong i la yg ajar dia nk tukar tyre, tolong dia pilih rim tyre, hubby i dulu mmg jenis tk give a dam sgt psl baru2 kerja n baru dpt kete,so advantage kepada sy disitu=P

situasi dua:

"ouh my, boyfie hanna giler romantic and cool, mase birthday dia ,boyfie dia dtg senyap2 dkt her house,bwk bunga and then teros bawak shopping you.sekali handbag chanel boyfie die zass utk dia!"

takpe, situasi ini memang akan membuatkan u ols rase nak menitik-nitik-nitik air mata sbab rase besh la kan if ade surprise cmtu (eh ke besh pasal ade part chanel disitu?).hahaha. so, silelah jgn mengharapkan situasi2 seperti ini berlaku.be realistic la cket. cemaneka boyfie anda nk dtg tiba-tiba wat surprise dpn rumah on ur bithday sedangkan u ols sedia maklum dia jauh nun di perantauan.so,jangan nak pening2kan diri nak2 bg i yg mmg tau schedule boyfie now hubby psl kerja secompany ni.so redha jela dgn "happy birthday sayang" -kat tepon or paling sadis kt screen ym je.haha.ape ade hal.gua tough "sile ckp kt diri sendiri berulang kali".hahahah.

situasi tiga:

"i pg td si zack hantar gi kerja, lunch nanti dgn dia, balik dia ambil, malam lepak2 kat rasta dgn dia n kawan2 dia"

ini clingy tahap serious!dr pg smpai petang semuala nak bersama.so,sila abaikan jika ade kawan2 anda begitu.being clingy bukan care hidup anda.give each other some space and jgn compare dgn org laen.maybe mereka selesa dgn care begitu tp anda tak mungkin face the same situation.maka redha la.tak semua org same.takpe berjauhan dulu skrg,insyaAllah if panjang umur murah rezeki, hari tua dapat bersama-sama.


share the burden

part ni like krg kadang2 share la wif partner krg betapa rindunya, sayangnya krg kt dia but sometimes sedih jugak pasal anda berdua thousands miles away jauhnya.sobs sobs. maka beruntunglah anda if dpt partner yg "i jugak rindu u,sayang u ,kalaula bukan pasla kerja/study ,lautan pacific,atlantic,lautan nil ni i redah semata2 nak bersama dgn sayang yg comel,cun,hot dsb". menangis kegembiraan la anda dpt boyfie yg romantic tahap gaban cmtu, boyfie i yg merangkap hubby i skrg ni,ms dolu-dolu if i ckp cmtu die ckp "alaaa,sekejap je bukan lame, ramai lg org laen camni,ok je,lame2 biasela tu". so sile hantukkan kepala anda ke dinding dgn harapan dpt trus melupakan tentang part dia yg tak berapa nak romantic tu.in short, redha jelaaa.haha. tapi sekali sekala ckp la gak kat dia kan,dia bukannya takde perasaan.actually dia kat sane pon serabut gak,nak gak balik rumah jumpa mak ayah,u ols and member2 dia,tp nak buat cemaneka if dh situasi kerja mmg jauh.

make your time "together" fun

Talking with your partner on the phone is precious time together for you. Ensure you do your bit to make it a fun call. cakap bende yg lalalalala.jgnla everyday call mengadu problem kerja, family problem, and segala problem yg ade.sometimes drg nak offload their work problem for a day ke nak talk sumthing fun n chill2 je.so, tak payah nak asyik2 every call remind both of u psl how hard to survive in LDR, or else asyik nangis2 "i rindu u, i rindu u,i rindu u".so ur partner serabut kot nanti.cerita bende yg fun, if let say ade yg tak puas hati ,tunggu dia balik, dh jumpa baru ckp (yes,i always do that) sbab tak nak burden ur partner mase jauh2.kadang2 tunggu dia balik,sekali dia dh blk tgk muka dia,langsung tak jadi ckp sbab alamakkk muke seposennn arrr balik dr jauh,cute jugak.takpela,lupekanlaa part dia ckp perut aku buncit dr dia ms kat phone haritu.hahaha.ini contoh. perut saye tak buncit ok! wekkkk. hahaha.

dealing with loneliness

get urself busy with something else people! like ur work, study, or hang out more often with ur friends or family. like for me mmg dulu balik kerja lambat giler, lepak2 with friends,since family jauh so pejam celik-pejam celik taddaaaa tetibe sampai time boyfie now hubby balik.kan kan?yes i understand missing ur partner is sometimes the hardest part of all in a LDR. When the phone’s gone down, or you haven’t been able to speak for a few days how do you deal with the loneliness that can sometimes creep up on you. memang serious kadang2 sbab kapal punye satellite out of prospect la apela.so, takpela,redha je.deal with it. i dulu mase bercinta lg besh, boyfie now hubby tu call seminggu skali, dh tunang baru 2-3hari skali,dha kawen 2kali sehari,dh ade anak baru everyday weh!ini fakta!korang boley survive boyfie call seminggu skali je?conversation yg len menerusi email or chat saje.saye boleh sebab saye a strong person.(sile ckp kt diri anda berkali-kai).haha.insyaAllah boleh.i pon bkn yg type mengada2 sgt, if dia nak call seminggu skali biarla, mls nak pk sgt.lgpon masa mula-mula mmgla serious tp xsure bley survive ke tak,lame-lame "alah bisa,tegal biase" bak kate org german.chill je la.hehehe.ouh n i dulu mmg sentiase membusykan diri dgn gi gym after work, join pole dance class, lepak with friends, maen squasy  and macam2la to kill the loneliness.kene la tough sikit dah ini jalan yg dipilih.memang selalu ckp dkt diri sendiri.

Appreciate small things

bila dah jauh2 tu kan apela sgt bende boleh buat kan?so, make small things count peeps!like bila u bgn pagi,dia dh ym u ckp "morning sunshine". so sile pk,ouh dia bgn pagi2 dh ingat aku. or else ms dia call u when: let say mom u sakit ke,kucing tergeliat kaki, die terus call sbab tau u sedih n try to calm u down ms dlm kejauhan tu.sile appreciate.jgn ckp "i really hope u were here with me ms kucing i jatuh tadi, i sedih,nape u takde sini.nape?nape?nape?" wahhhh.serabot paleotak partner anda camni.sebenarnye percayelah lelaki rase mcm loser giler bile xdpt buat anything for girlfren/wifey dia yg tgh sdey especially time jauh2 camtu. maka sila appreciate.silalah berusaha!hehe

TRUST YOUR PARTNER

ok,bende2 mcm ni memang payah nak decsribe pasal mase dah jauh2 tu,mula lah kepala pusing pk bukan-bukan.bende yg takde diada-adakan. happen to me few times pon,hehe.cudnt help myself sometimes.but over time kite belajarla kan utk percaye dkt org.at first memang susah,lama2 insyaAllah ok. dan berdoalah.itu saje yang mampu time jauh2 tu. and u ols pula sile jgn nak create scene like

"u tau tak,td i gi mkn kt yong tau fu ampang, ade srg mamat bg fon no,die ckp i cun"

"td boyfie si hajar ckp i cantik,die pandang i semacamla u"

"dkt office i ramai lelaki asyik bg i bunga, call i everyday,hish geramla i"

tak payahla buat bende2 mcm tu sbab nak attention frm ur partner yg jauh tu.tok sah la menyerabutkan kepala dia.1st thing dia pilih anda sbab dia tau anda comel dah. tk payah nak ulang 40ribu kali kot untuk menghighlight yg anda comel untuk dia sentiase beringat2 supaya anda x terlepas ke tgn org laen. and tak payah nak buat dia jealous adn sometimes bende2 mcmtu boleh lead to something yg kita takmo eg: ur partner tak trust u or else rasekan yg dia jauh,ramai org nak kat u,maka u better go to them.hahaha.time ni padan muke anda.sbab ur partner dh surrender.tula ,sape suruh mengade2?=p

okla, above tips memang ape yg share dkt u ols la kan.if got anything, jangan segan2 tambah!=)

update: got 1 more thing i guess.important ni.

Boolayan with other people assumptions

part ni mmg la kadang2 kite kene consider ape org ckp la kan.tp xyah la percaye lebih2 sangat.check sendiri.jgn percaye ckp org melulu n jgn pulak percaye ur partner 200%.everything kene investigate dulu. like mine, org selalu ckp "atas kapal tu bahaye weh, ade pompuan ramai,then drg bile balik darat terus gian pompuan,book ke hotel teros".

like hello, macamla aku tak pernah pergi offshore.tak payah nak ckp bende pelik2.got this 1 fler ni,dia dahla xpernah kerja offshore in fact xpernah kerja oil and gas pon tetibe ckp kt u "i know atas kapal,monthly drg supplier perempuan,dtg via chopper ke kapal,beshla org2 kapal".

well, hello ape kejadah company nak supply pompuan?ini bukan pekerjaan suak-suka,ini kerja 12jam busuk2 atas kapal bersihkan barnacles (uweeekkk), dlm coverall pergi back deck kerja poloh2,pastu offshift time nak tido,lepak,makan tgk dvd ,gym-ing or maen ping pong bang oi. i pon pernah gi offshore.yg ramai ialah lelaki,bukan pompuan. lawak giler bile org luar judge.siap ckp blk teros check in hotel.eh,i ade itenerary laki i laaaa dr die keluar kapal naik chopper,naik 2-3flights baru smpai rumah,semua ade.sent by company lg.nak melencong apenye.and if terdapat keraguan like certain time got cases yg hubby takley call in certain countries, and flight die have to reschedule psl tertinggal chopper bagai, i ade direct contact with company's coordinator utk check.org2 yg hati busuk camni jgn dilayan sbab memang xberpekdah. dia boyfie/laki ko,maka ko je yg paham kerja dia.and jgn pening2 kepala nak percaya org ckp bende karut2.lainla if kerja rig,let say kt vietnam,then seminggu turun rig drg lepak2 kt town itu ade possibility la.ini laki gue kerja kapal ok.KAPAL. maka if time port call pon kejap je naik darat and fyi, sgtla jarang nk stranded kt shore lame giler.if stranded lebih 3hari meh sini i fly brasil,besh gak jalan2 gi ipanema lepak2 kt beach dia.ahhhhhhhh (mcm besh nak suggest ni kt hubby for next anniversary.eh melalut=P) .

ok, peeps,daaaaaaaa













5 comments:

Wani said...

"like" :D

Mama 3H said...

amboiii panjangnya entry...fening nk baca :P

bell said...

hahaha...suka2!sumer benar sekali...thanks to u yg penat2 menghuraikan segala keserabutan mereka yg selalu kener tinggl nih-salina aka bini si feroz tuhhh....hahahaha

MiJa said...

wanie, i tot LDR is the bf thingy Let Down Reflection..ahaha
wah kak bell pun ado sini

mE™ said...

take it positive jer kan mommy...wuuuhuhu we sapok each other kan mommy..
nanti bile kene tinggal kite hangout eh mommy