+bout todaY..Yesterday....and mYpass....+



PART 11


hence, after i know bout failures,then what???
maturity brought me to think about having a companion,
i mean besides my fam and frens, i need to find out
dat particular some1 dat could accept me for who i am
and will be wif me on how hard d'situation is,
could accept my family and could accept my imperfect life.
i've found dat particular sum1 for many times,
its just i never found LOVE
he liked me,i liked him, he could accept me for who im,in fact he was dying for me.
and after few moments i realized,love wasnt there anymore and keep on letting ppl go,
got 4bf's when i was spent 3years back in Uni was totally suxx.
it wasnt even close to a what-so-called-serious relationship
i felt guilty all dis while,
i noe by letting go ppl who had appreciate me much,
or ppl who were willing to share their life wif me was totally wrong.
this is me.i always misjudging ppl.
i used to learn sumthing after i did mistakes.
dats y mistakes keep happening in mylife.
i'll always learn form experience by making mistakes.
dewh.
hey, tak best langsung ok,bile org chop kite player ke ape.
but d'thing is----- relationship bewildering me all of d'time.
it sometimes making me upset,sometimes making me feeling high up to d'sky,
so,it seems like---- totally RISKY huh!...
but still,im seeking and eager to know,who gonna be as my other half until d'end of time.

paused. im almost 23 now. its not d'time to still looking for a better guy.
its d'time to accept a guy. plus,i never felt good wif life like dis.
i wanted to have a serious and long relationship.
im not desperate or thinking dat im too old to hold dat "player" title.
its just, i think,if its always need time to know myself, then it will take more time
to any1 else. i need some1 who culd change myself to be s a better person
as im thinking dat life's a process of learning and i dun want to screw it up by always be s i always b.
i dun want to stuck in myslef forever.
everybody has their bad or devil side,so do i.
we'll never can get rid of it drastically but we can change it gradually.
so, in order to be s a some1 dat could manage myself bfore ,
i need to have sum1 dat really close to me,to tell me,what's good and bad thing in me.
sumtimes or most of d'time, i overlook mymistakes.
i thought dis kind of behavior is rite,but d'fact is i never behaved myself.it was unintentionally sometimes.
so,by knowing some1 who we call it as our partner,might be i culd be as a better person sumday.
frens are included.but frens arent always b'd'same.
they have their other obligations or probably in d' midst of anything else.

ouh, eventho mylife have been destined this way,but i still thinking dat i could altered few things and make it closer to
almost perfect, but i need time and support from all and im still working for it.
i believe dat i juz got good things since last year and it keep continuing day by day,
so, i better be patient for another rewards bcoz i know good things will never come in a bundle,
otherwise it'll spoil me to d'max. =) *praying*

ok,this post popped up bcoz I think it is unfair for me to keep blinding the society with the superficial truth of my life. It is unfair for me to deny the emotional struggles for a youth like me, i'm stucked, lost, and confused -and despite the different paths dat took in my real life,so I think now is d'time for me to admit the contradicting reality of my life.



mmmmmMMMMMmmmmm...stop yawning,peeps....keyboard off now*grin*